Wednesday, July 31, 2013

First Trimester

I am currently in my 3rd trimester with just over 6 weeks until "mini" arrives.
I thought I would recap each trimester with a bump picture, my symptoms and products that were completely necessary to me!

The First Trimester
My first trimester lasted from the end of December 2012 to the beginning of March 2013.
Thankfully I didn't experience extreme morning sickness.
I never got sick but i felt nauseous pretty much all day.
I would wake up feeling pretty bad until i had a good breakfast.
Before being pregnant I would normally either skip breakfast or have cereal.
Neither of those were an option.
Cereal for breakfast was pretty much the worst idea ever, it always made me feel awful all day.
But i found a solution, chicken biscuits from chick fil a!
I went to Chick Fil A almost every morning.
They were literally the only think I found that didn't make me feel sick.
The employees  got to know me really well during the first trimester!
For real..I seriously had a problem...I would rotate between two Chick Fil A's in our town so they wouldn't think I was completely insane!
I also had to keep snacking throughout the day to keep from feeling bad.
Large meals or not eating made me feel pretty awful.

It was a weird couple of months because no one really knew and I felt like I was walking around with this HUGE secret!
Yet I still felt like everyone knew.
We didn't tell our parents until I was almost 10 weeks pregnant.
Both my mom and his dad's birthday are 2 days apart and we decided that was the time to tell them.
So until then, when we would have dinner with them or go to either house i just knew that they knew i was preggo.
One night his mom asked if I wanted some ginger ale and i looked at Charlie with the biggest eyes ever.
They all say they had no idea, but im not convinced!

I was also scared the entire time.
I thought that every twinge meant something was wrong.
Going to my first doctors appointment eased so many of my worries but I probably didn't truly calm down until the 20 week ultrasound.

The products that really helped me the 1st Trimester are: 

(one) Crane Humidifier.  
This baby is a life saver, i would wake up each morning at around 4 (no joke..every.single.morning) and need 500 tissues. 
Im so happy we got this, and so is my husband....

(two) Victorias Secret Yoga Leggings
I 100% lived in these.  
I would wear them to work, with a fancy top and boots, then straight to bed with a t-shirt.

(three) Big Water Bottle with Straw
When I went to the doctor for my first appointment, she said i wasn't drinking enough water.
She wanted me to drink around 80oz of water and I was no where near that.
SO i bought a cute water bottle with a straw and it really helped me drink a lot more.
I take it with me everywhere.
(Tervis sells straws to go with this bottle so i bought a pack and just kept one in there at all times)

(four) Trader Joe's Coconut Body Butter
My skin got soo dry that normal lotion was not cutting it.
So i picked this up for under 5 dollars and I'm OBSESSED.

There are other things like my iPad and that stupid Candy game that I spent hours playing. 
But these 4 things really stand out.

And for the Bump Pic.
When I took this i felt like it was the first time i saw a little bump.
This was taken February 20th which was around week 11.
Looking back i see NOTHING compared to what i see now!!

And this next pic is the day we found out I was pregnant.
At this point I had no idea my life was about to change.
Its just crazy to think I was sitting at the vet with my cat 
and then that night I found out we were having a baby.

Pregnancy after Infertility

After going through an 18 month struggle with not being able to conceive something happened I wasn't prepared for.
After the inital joy, excitement and happiness i felt, i started feeling extremely guilty.
There were so many people who had been struggling for years upon years and I was the one who ended up pregnant.
Dont get me wrong I was extremely happy for Charlie and I and wouldn't trade it for the world, but i was just so sad for the couples that I knew who were still struggling.
I was worried about telling people I was pregnant because I didn't want to cause others heartache.
When i was trying to conceive it felt like every single one of my friends were having babies and while I was happy for them, my heart ached for Charlie and I.
It was such a hard struggle between obviously being happy for your friend but still feeling so sad for yourself.
I didn't want to be the source of that struggle for others.
If it weren't for Charlie really pushing me to announce it on Facebook and tell others, I would have not told anyone until it was extremely obvious.
I am still very wary of posting things on Facebook about my pregnancy.
You just never know who is struggling.
Going through this has taught me to be more aware and sensitive of others and to understand that you have no idea what they are going through behind closed doors.
My heart is always with those couples who are experiencing this difficult journey.

One of the main things that got me through was God.
He revealed Himself to me in so many ways.
I signed up to receive daily emails from a website called "Sarah's Laughter".
They were AMAZING.
I still have my favorites saved on my phone.
The November before we found out we were pregnant Charlie and I went to our lakehouse for Thanksgiving.  
We rode up with his parents and i remember reading one of these emails and just balling in the back seat.
It was talking about going through holidays with such an ache in your heart.
The scripture and story just hit home to me and pulled at my heart strings.
I realized its ok to feel sad and accept that you are going through a hard time in your life.
Reading this completely changed my outlook on the holidays and really allowed me to enjoy the time with my family.
It was a completely different experience than the year before.
I am so thankful for those emails and for God showing me how to relate emails, stories and sermons to what I am specifically going through.

A new church service began at my church on Sunday nights.
The nightly service opened up new doors for me because Charlie could come every other week 
and when he couldn't I felt comfortable going alone.
I swear every single sermon and song was directed right at me.
I spent so many of those services in tears and taking every word in and applying it to what was going on in my life.
It was amazing.

I am thankful that I went through this journey because, like I said before, I have become so much more aware of others and it drew me closer to God and my husband.
I am working on being more open with things about my pregnancy because I am so happy to be having a baby.
Its just hard to be the source of someone else's struggle.

Our Infertility Story

I HATE using the the word infertility.  
Even though that was the diagnosis, straight from the doctors mouth.  
I just feel like compared to so many other couples, we were the lucky ones.  
You hear stories about couples battling infertility for years and years.  
My heart literally aches for them every day.
We tried to conceive for 18 months.  
Don't get me wrong, those were the absolute hardest 18 months of my life so far.  
Each month began with hope, looking up due dates, convincing myself that this month was THE month.  
Then the month would come to an end with disappointment, tears, and a feeling that we were never going to have our sweet baby.  

Our Infertility Story began the summer of 2011.
Charlie and I decided that we were "ready" (whatever that may mean) to start a family.
We threw away the medicine and I began the research.
I knew that it may take a couple of months but that it should happen within 6 months.
6 months came and went, I started to feel like something was wrong.
I read where you were supposed to wait a year until seeking medical advice.
So another 6 months passed by with no luck at all.
Finally I was able to make the appointment with my OBGYN.
I told her how long it was taking and that I was concerned.
I am so thankful for her, she understood my concern, sympathized with me and ordered tests immediately.
I had a ton of blood work done and was told to come back in a couple of weeks to go over the results together.
The results came back normal, except for my thyroid.
She said that I had Hypothyroidism and got me in with a doctor that was no longer taking patients.
I think she understood that I needed that support from a doctor and she scheduled another appointment to go over the specialists recommendations and the next steps to take.
I began taking synthroid to level out my thyroid.

The next doctors appointment I had with her she scheduled a test called a HSG.
This is an outpatient procedure where dye is inserted into your fallopian tubes to make sure there are no blockages.
My OBGYN performed it, along with a radiologist.
Thankfully, you find out right away if the test is successful or not by watching the screen to see if the dye moves through the fallopian tubes without being blocked.
This test has to be performed on certain days and mine just happened to fall on the day my mom and I were throwing a baby shower for my cousin.
Also you are prescribed pain and anxiety medicine for this test so I was a little loopy all day!
Charlie and I decided not to tell our family yet that we were struggling with infertility because we didn't want to worry them until we had a better diagnosis.
This day was one of the hardest days of the journey.
Sitting in the waiting room I was checking my email and found out that yet another friend was expecting a baby.
I then went through the rather painful procedure and had to go straight to a baby shower at my own house and act like everything was just fine.
It was tuff.
My tubes were not blocked and she said everything looked great, so back to the drawing board we went.
Charlie was then ordered to do a test which came back normal as well.
I then knew it was all my fault.
I felt such guilt for not being able to provide a family for my husband.
We both wanted a baby so bad, but I was the one who couldn't make that wish come true.

The doctor suggested I get my thyroid straightened out before starting fertility drugs such as clomid.  
Our insurance didn't cover any infertility treatments, procedures or doctors visits and we had already spent a TON of money.
Clomid is expensive and you have to go in for multiple ultrasounds which can add up.
I would have happily paid for it if i knew for sure it would help, but the doctor didn't want to cover up my thyroid problem as that could be what is causing all of this.  
I agreed.
The issue with having a thyroid problem is that it takes 2 months to know if your new dose of medicine works.
So a couple of months passed and my thyroid still wasn't perfect.
A couple more passed and still not perfect.
Finally my OB changed the prescription the specialist gave me to a more aggressive dose.
She said that if this doesn't work in 3 months we will begin clomid.

2 months passed and I got that BFP I had been waiting for.
It was the greatest moment of my life.

It was Januaru 3rd.
Charlie and I had just come back from a (super late) Christmas Party for his work.
I made him stop at the grocery to get another pregnancy test that I knew would come back negative but i just had to check, immediately.
I had taken so many pregnancy tests but when I was waiting for the results to show up I turned it over because I was too nervous to stare at it for the 3 minutes it takes to give you results.
I called charlie in the bathroom and told him he had to turn it over, that I know its negative and I just can't see that one line right now without going insane.
He turned it over and said, "What does it mean if its 2 lines?"
I FLIPPED OUT. Literally.
At first I said no (just like when he proposed to me).
Then he showed it to me and it was a true positive.  
TWO bright pink lines. 
No squinting, thinking you might see a faint 2nd line.  
There were definitely two lines there staring back at me.
I could not believe it.
We sat on the bed and just stared at it not really believing that this was actually happening.
Then the tears started pouring.
It will always be one of the happiest moments of my life.

Just one month before we started the fertility treatments, we found out my thyroid was probably what was causing the problem.
I am so thankful that my OBGYN decided to be aggressive with my thyroid dose.

I am now 33 weeks pregnant and expecting a sweet little baby on September 15th.  
Just one day before her daddy's birthday.